Once upon a time, there was a door. A nice white door. This door was very happy as he had just been installed into his new house. Everyone around admired the door and ooo'ed and ahhh'ed at how nicely it opened and closed. However, over time, this door began to feel a little short changed. It's owners were constantly slamming it shut, hitting it with hammers to chip off the ice build and heating it up with blow torches to melt off the ice. This made the door very mad. But soon, it's people were opening and closing the door nicely again. This made the door very happy ... until these people moved away. Then the door became very sad again as it was alone.
One day, a nice person moved into the door's house. She was very happy to be living in that house. She decorated it and took very good care of it, and always gave the door good attention by keeping it nice and clean. But sure enough, slowly she began slamming, body slamming, kicking and screaming at the door. This hurt the doors feelings alot. Sure enough, she also began hitting it with hammers, heating it up with a hair dryer and spraying all sorts of smelly spray inside of it's door knob that burned. The door was very mad and decided to get revenge.
One day when the nice person decided to go outside for a nice morning walk, she couldn't open the door. The door would not open to the outside. "Hmmm" she thought, "I'm frozen inside my house". The nice girl had to call her neighbors to come over and body slam their way into her house. The door did not like this treatment either as it was getting all dented.
So the door decided that it was going to be really mean one night and didn't let the nice girl into her house. "Arrrrrghhhhh!" the nice girl screamed in frustration as the door would not budge and the door knob would not turn. "Arrrrrggggg!" screamed the northern newfie from next door who also tried to open it. "Take that door!" screamed the nice girl as she boot kicked the door, "Open up!". The nothern newfie tried again. The door, feeling that he had made her suffer enough decided to open up for the northern newfie who was trying to open it.
The nice girl, was beginning to loose her patience with the door.
One night, as the girl was walking home, she could see the mean door sitting up on the side of her bridge. The door looked very rejected and sad. It had frost all over it. It glared at the new door that was being installed in it's place. The new door was very happy to be installed on the house as it did not like the smelly plastic wrap that it was covered in.
Ever since that night, the new door and the nice girl have been living happily ......
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Yes everyone it is true. Kennie has finally gotten a new door! It is so nice being able to open and close my door all on my own! No more having to call next door for a kick in! (although, I do have to admit, it is pretty funny).
13 comments:
But kicking it in helps keep my game up for soccer coaching.
In no way should the previous comment be misconstrued so as to suggest I condone random kicking of doors.
Oh boy!
I wish I would have get my chance to kick it too!!If this one becomes uncooperative, at least call me so I can look the Northern Newfie have a fight with it!
OMG. I love that story. You should have it published. What fun illustrations you could have! It reads like a Robert Munsch book. :)
I just read your story. It is very funny.
The nice door needs a nice wreath! Paul
Darcy: Never would we condone the kicking of doors ... never ... your door is next on the list... I noticed your door knob is starting to fight back :-) And come on, you had the most action with the door - I got to witness a couple of good body checks to it when you ever so kindly came over to rescue me ... while the Northern Newfie had his nap (haha).
Hey Across the Road Rental: the day I was out there kicking and swearing at it, I think you were already home from work .. surprised you didn't hear me screaming at the door. I know the Northern Newfie got a good laugh at me kicking and bashing the door. Did you check out the DVD yet? That what I do for a living in my "real" job.
Tina: you never know what I might just do up here over the holidays ... got tons of time on my hands.. hmm.... wonder what story might be next... the "tale of the box that was claimed to be attacked by the ravens, but anyone knows that ravens can't make fist sized holes in boxes"
Colby: Glad you liked the story! I sat here wondering how I could tell the story of my door to everyone.
Paul: My door on the inside as a nice shaker bell on it from the UNBSJ Seawolves .... it's beginning to be decorated :-) Give me another couple of weeks and you never know what the door might have.
ahahahahahhah I am so with Tina- that has the making of a great book!!!!!!
Hey Kennie! Yes I did whatch the DVD, it is absolutely great, thank you very much: my co-workers back home liked it a lot; totally different from the "usual" work, right!?
As for your blog, it's amazing, your comments are very funny and the photos are breathtaking...I will still come here to read you when I get back home, glad I could link onto Darcy's blog too...this is great. :)
absolutely, look for an illustrator and a publisher. Charming and witty tale.
Hey Kennie,
I can SO sympathize with you as I have the exact same issue w my door in Iqaluit. It happened all last winter, where I used to have to get friends to come over and shoulder check the door open. The landlord was no help at all; they gave me a rubber mallet to loosen the door from the inside. With that, my knife, and my hair dryer, I was still getting completey stuck inside at least once a week. When it started to happen again this winter, I took it upon myself to make sure I was not gonna get stuck this year. My heat in my foyer has been turned down so that there is not heat on the door anymore. It seems to have done the trick! Goodl uck w your new door. Sara in Iqaluit
Hi Sara in Iqaluit!
Door troubles don't seem to escape any of us here in the North! Housing wasn't too helpful at first until I got rather cranky and threatened to call higher up on the chain of command. I considered trying the no heat method, but then I wouldn't have had any heat in my whole unit (as it's all controlled by one thermostat). But I do have a rather nice 'vent hole' in the foyer to let air in / out (or something like that) - it was put in last year as the previous tenant was having the same issues.
Two weeks now with my new door, and no freezing issues or frost build up on the door! (keeping my fingers crossed here).
Good luck with your door too!
LOL! I feel as though you must have seen hidden camera footage of MY OWN frustrating door experiences! And we won't even mention all the Nasty Knob episodes. Like you, I have a new door ready to be installed. Unfortunately, it probably won't be touched until spring. :(
Great story! One of the most essential secrets to survival in the Arctic is a good sense of humor!!! :)
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